Every minute is like an hour

Its been six months since I hit this relationship, yeah its sudden, it wasn't expected from all my friends, and trust me, even myself. Yes I had some issues with myself and how I can't get over my ex boyfriend or  sort. All those have been solved, and those unsettled feeling have been gotten rid off.. This necklace, you gave me for a very belated birthday (cause we only got together after my 18th birthday) I'm wearing it for half a year now. Trust me, till now I still think its quite gay hanging our faces on me, everywhere I go. People tend to stare at it, its just weird. 

I always try to remind myself to not get so attached so quickly, must keep that distance, and to gain my trust? Its really gonna take a long while for me to tell you everything, every pain I feel. I don't reveal myself immediately, I can't accept how fake people can be, how stupid I'll be if I ever allow anyone to fool me just because I hand them my trust too early. I can't stand hypocrites, I will stop trusting them, and even distance myself from them. I guess its just nature? So to some who don't know me, I'm prolly anti-social, very fierce to them. But no, if not why would I have so so so many good friends, best friends? 

I'm really thankful that you are changing your ways, and still constantly showering me with love, fetching me from work even though I've been working at Taka now, you still come all the way just to send me home. I'm really thankful, loved and appreciate it so much. You helped me so much when I don't have enough to survive my days, and pay for my every meal. I know its a very bad habit for you to always pay for me, but you don't allow me to pay my own. What to do? 

Thank you, rowy <3 

Best Friend

When you have a best friend and whether she'll stay through for your whole good and bad times, time will tell. 

Rae Chia Rui Yi, yay my best friend since Primary 5 I would say, we always hang out in 4/5/6, together with Ninnart, Angie, Tamara or Pei Yi, depending on whose free to walk over to mobil, but its normally Nin, Rae, Angie, Tam and I whom will walk over and play with the hill. After Graduation we kinda parted our own ways. Glad that Rae's in GYSS, okay luckily that I've transferred too. If not we might not be as close as we were? No I don't dare to think any way. Sadly now Nin, Rae and I are closer and I'd say our relationship with Nin is still qutie good though she left Singapore for so many years to Canada. 

I am very thankful to have Rae as my best, really though sometimes she hardly speak up but when you ask, she'll tell you. She cares about me like a boyfriend, ignore me like a mother, and I don't know what to describe her cause she might scold me after reading this. Hahahha need a chill company? Yeah you can always ask her, she's always ready for Starbucks. Her recent post saying that she like to stay home kind, she must be lucky to have me who don't mind staying in too. 

Ah I can go on and on about her awesome-ness, she have flaws of course that's why we didn't become best friend at first, trust me we were enemies when we were Primary One. Now it triggers a lot of memory how we couldn't communicate back then. I hated her like I hate J (you'll know who) Noooo actually I was just a kid so the maximum I go was "I don't like you and won't friend you" I don't even know what's hate back then. 

Wanna look for someone to design? She have the talent, she's always there to design some random stuff, she really get motivated on what designs bring her to. Does that even make sense? Anyway she is just really that motivated when it comes to design that she enjoys. Man 9 years of best friend, yeah its definitely gonna come more, sorry for always worrying you babe. 

Here's many many hearts for you!!!!!

♡

Spent a night with the cutest boy with a simple dinner @ the coffee shop at my house downstairs and headed over to Starbucks to watch One Piece. Hehe this camera shy boy, whom doesn't enjoy taking picture!! 

Meet Up Time!

Meet up with my girls to get off things on my mind which sucks terribly. Couldn't sleep and wanted to blog, then I've decided to try sleeping again so this was left at draft. Now I'm updating it again! But with a much happier heart now!! 

Had Pastmania with the girls, no pictures of food don't worry, went up to open area after getting my Gong Cha which took VERYYYY long because of the person before me ordering so many weird stuff! Worse is she don't know Gong Cha well, hence its x2 worse! Anyway, here's my cheap Forever 21 slippers!! 

Polaroid case that Xue Fen, Jade and Ash chipped for my birthday! 

Dearest Tamara after so many years! Trust me she've gotten way slimmer and taller and more feminine!

Three of us! 

You know why I didn't take with Rae much? Cause I always meet her any time I want, most of the times! So we are still very close, together with Nin! Wow its been 7 years since we've all graduated from Marymount Convent, girls really are better at keeping friendships isn't it? All right, time to go off and sleep early for work tomorrow! Hope baby will come to meet me for lunch ^^ 

Whatever you want, go for it.

I miss little dog a lot, and I miss her owner 1209381209750173021301298301 times more. 

Do whatever you want cause You Only Live Once - YOLO 

I wish I can do whatever I want, get the kind of guy I desire, get the kind of friends I'm comfortable with. I can not choose my birth, but I can definitely choose my route of growing up isn't it? I really enjoy being in love but I guess when love comes with too much restriction I can't do it. I think its a scorpio thing.. 

I need my own personal space to breathe, I don't like to be suffocated, nobody likes it I guess? I hope this one week break will be good enough for you to think about it, really.. I wish things still can work out and we've planned so many things way ahead of us, so why not let's fulfill it. Hope you are doing fine now, xx


Edited 17:39

"After all the fights, arguments ... it is sad to tell someone "It's okay, I'm used to it". This is not what i want. I want to be able to be honest with you and tell you everything that's been running through my mind. Everyone wants to feel appreciated in some way or another. Slowly, after being so immune to it. You know you want to end it but then again, you do not want to see someone whom you loved so much being so devastated, vulnerable, emotionally unstable and helpless but i saw it. Even though i tried to be hard hearted, it broke my heart at the end of the day. Do you really know me and understands me? Why is it that someone has to tell you what i like and what i don't? This time, i really hope the devastating truth has knocked some sense into your head. I will be there for you as a friend but don't expect too much. I am not sure if i could still carry on, bringing things to a whole new level, again." 


Saw this paragraph of words from a primary school friend of mine, her blog which I used to read, and I came across it again, to kill my boredom I just started scrolling.. Till I read that paragraph above it, exactly speaks how I feel. Sometimes you just can't bring words you want to say out, and you need someone else to deliver it for you. I don't give up easily, but please don't take advantage of that. 

Back here again

This little dog here, is like my own. So adorable, how much I wish she's mine to keep.

A dog, just like everybody else, time is needed to know each other, to understand, to tolerate one another is just something we need to do. What do you do when you run out of those courage and patience to accept everything? I wish I could tell you too. When two is in love, there bound to be argument, disagreement and really hurtful words coming out of our mouths, but at the end of the day what we really want is to be able to make it for a longer future, being able to lie in each other's arm and look back how silly we were back then.

Now I know what I'm fighting for, freedom. Yes, relationship can't work without freedom, own personal space. I won't say I MUST NEED that extra space to go out with my friends, good friends best friends whatever kind of friends, but I need that space alone. To stone, to sit at home, browse whatever webpage I like... I like to have personal space. And personal space is not equivalent to like being ALONE. I can be together with you in the room, but I need my own space to do whatever I like.

I enjoy spending time together with my love one of course, but shouldn't it be relaxing? Why don't I feel it most of the time? I am so stressed out by what your parents say to YOU, and its affecting me, my mood to eat, I could die for just one peaceful dinner with you and your parents. I hear you guys SHOUTING from one end of the table to the other... Its not enjoying, not relaxing at all.

All right, enough of ranting. Maybe I should create Formspring to kill boredom and answer stupid questions, but then again it'll be causing me a lot of unnecessary weird questions from outsider. Toodles now, guess my girlfriends will be happy that I'm back blogging!